Ladislav Bubnar he spent his childhood in shelters – first in Slovakia then in the Czech Republic. Mother left him on the doorstep of the baby at the age of three weeks.

More than thirty years Ladislav Bubnar trying to find her and to understand why the woman who gave him life, abandoned and betrayed.

The thorny path

“A small village in Slovakia. Remember the path from the car to the house – in slow motion – says Ladislav. – Acutely aware of the smells, colors and sounds. Time slows down speed, and heart rate increases… And the earth disappears from under his feet. I went to the entrance, knocked on the door. The door was opened by a girl. I internally somehow understood at once that got to the right place and this is my sister. Mom ava wasn’t home. She appeared later. This whole… other, not the one that lived in my head. But a real one. With the fumes. Drunk. With cold glass eyes. Immediately recognized me and fell on his knees. We both stood, embraced, and cried. But dialogue after that did not work. Sat. Then it went noisy guests. I felt out of place in this house. Just left her that envelope of money I had saved from several of their concerts, along with a phone number and a note that I would wait for her call. But while she’s silent. In my youth I had to change seven homes. Alternated educators, have come and gone my friends… it was Impossible for something to hold on to than something to get used to. Only better, as again we had to move. In the first shelter I inflicted such injuries that had big health problems: I stopped talking, couldn’t walk, hold a spoon… Probably because he was a hyperactive child always wanted to play, frequently asked questions and everyone was interested. Anyone are moving do not want children, after all, quiet and obedient easier. The truth is that in the walls of the shelters mock wards. It is a reality about which little is said. And if the rising tide, in connection with any egregious case. Perhaps I could detail and paints to write a book as the orphans are forced to stand under cold showers, beaten on the head, and so as not to leave marks, put in a cold punishment cells, humiliate and incite one another, and place their bets, setting up fight…

All subsequent boarding was already in rehab, where I re-learned to speak. But no improvement was not yet at the age of 12 did not get to see ava Drozdovoj, the Director of the orphanage “Elephants”, which is the namesake of my mother and treated me as a mother. We with it sang, and through music I have recovered it. Some time it took just to get used to the warm environment and stop being afraid that at any moment you will strike. Once fully grown mentally and physically, Eva entrusted me with the patronage of the younger and put into it created a chorus of pupils. We flew to Mallorca concerts in Croatia, Frankfurt, acted consistently in Slovakia. Annually participated in the great Christmas charity concert, which was broadcast on television.

Soon I was teaching a class, helping kids, although at the time did not know musical notation. Eva then said, “abaot the nature of absolute pitch, and God gave such voice, that this is your path in life.”

Before going to sleep looked at the wall and imagined that someday I will have svoydom, which will smell of pancakes in the morning and the barking of his beloved dog. I wanted to grow up faster, become an adult, to control their own life. Thanks ewe I stayed in the orphanage till 25 years, despite the fact that by law only to 18. She introduced me to Peter Dvoristem, who took inexperienced guy to work in the choir of the Opera house in the city of Kosice. For all the time that they wandered in the shelters, never met with potential R roditelyami. I was very painful, with multiple disabilities. These do not particularly like to bring adoptive families. But, of course, at that age, I didn’t understand and was expecting that a miracle will happen: make a wish for Christmas, your birthday, and just so every night before bed. Still believe in angels that help us. Apparently, I had to pass it so expensive to meet his godparents, Lyudmila and Vladislav are already in quite a Mature age and appreciate their unconditional love and support. They are my family.

Great expectations

I moved to Prague in 25 years. Changed a lot of work – was a bartender and a waiter, and the Manager of the cafe. The salary was just enough for rent and food. Unlike Russia, the orphans do not give apartments, do not provide any shelter. One day when the restaurant was closed, just left without a livelihood. Slept anywhere, ate so, it is better not to remember. In a moment of despair fate sent me to the Chairman of Fund of assistance to people from children’s homes. He asked what you do, what you can do. Said sing. He led me to the Czech music producer Alex Wernick, who is still my Director.

Of course, it would be untrue if I say that not dreaming about how at a concert, I will see mother and learns will come. However, nothing happened. I became interested in literature, philosophy. Has a lot, broke up with grievances and expectations. Realized a simple truth: sometimes what develops, the best thing that can happen. When I finally found mother did not even question why many years ago she dumped me. Everyone understood – the situation, the mood. Joy gave way to sadness and heaviness. And to think I forgot what I wanted to do a photo for memory. Probably to throw me in the orphanage was the best solution. It’s hard to imagine my future if I stayed with relatives. Of course, I forgave her, and long before the date. This woman gave me life and became a guide in our world. Perhaps this is enough to experience the gratitude.”