#Aboussafy: bitter memories of women about violence and condemnation in the Network

#Янебоюсьсказать: горькие воспоминания женщин о насилии и осуждение в Сети A few days under that hashtag had hundreds of stories in which girls become victims of aggression or physical violence from men. Users of social networks in different ways responded to such frankness.

    #Янебоюсьсказать: горькие воспоминания женщин о насилии и осуждение в Сети

    Now days social networks are filled with posts of girls and women with the hashtag #anabolisant. All the stories of the fairer sex in these records, dedicated to the cases when they were victims of sexual harassment or violence.

    As a rule, society is not accepted to raise such intimate topics. Many who have faced brutality from men, prefer to keep quiet about it or try to forget what happened to them. No one wants to admit that was a victim of humiliation or harassment.

    What started

    Large-scale Internet-flash mob broke out after the recording of Ukrainian journalist Anastasia Melnichenko. She remembered occasions when faced with rudeness or ill-treatment by men.

    “I’m 21. I broke up with a psychopath (real, clinical), but forgot it at home grandfather a shirt that held him. I go to his house. He me wring, power strips and cables to the bed. No, not raping. “Just” hurting physically. I feel powerless what can not in any way affect the situation. He takes the picture of me naked and threatened to put pictures on the Internet. I long afraid to talk about what he did to me, because I’m afraid of pictures on the Internet. I’m scared, very ashamed of my body (funny to remember now),” wrote Anastasia.
    #Янебоюсьсказать: горькие воспоминания женщин о насилии и осуждение в Сети

    The journalist decided therefore to draw attention to the issue of domestic, sexual violence and other types of aggression, the victims of which become weak girl. After her post in social networks began to appear bitter stories of other women affected by this problem.

    Everyone is silent

    By virtue of education and social norms in society is not accepted to speak openly about such incidents. Users of social networks support dared to share terrible experiences with women. “Violence is not always a maniac on the street. It may come in the form of something else- kindness, care, affection. It may come from a very close person. What can we do to protect our children from this? To talk. These posts – also a form of publicity. A blind eye can not” – says Diana Farmakovsky.

    Every woman affected by violence, and then spends enormous power to heal that injury. As a rule, previously the only place where she could discuss this issue, was the office of a therapist. In some cases, the family has provided tremendous support. However, the trauma remains for life, pastalaya the fairer sex, afraid of men and look each time, returning home alone late in the evening.

    “It’s still very painful. No matter how make and no matter how much you go to therapy. And that hurts to think about how perfectly sane people who I tried to talk about it in the relatively recent past: not believed, devalued, proposed to consider it as a children’s and teenage fantasy in particular, and one therapist,” – says one of the users of the social network.

    History celebrities

    Among the stars there were also women who did not hesitate to reveal the innermost secrets of his past that they would like to forget.

    Lolita admitted that she was being raped as a teenager. “In tenth grade I had an attempted rape but I fought so courageously that I had from underneath his epidermis was removed, I his face scratched so much, managed to escape and ran away. But it was a very long time. Since the back door I do not go”, – says the singer.

    #Янебоюсьсказать: горькие воспоминания женщин о насилии и осуждение в Сети

    Anita Tsoy came across a pervert while walking in the yard with other kids. She was 8 years old. After this incident, the star a few years was afraid of men.

    “I still remember its unpleasant odor and greasy hair. His calloused hand frantically twitching in the groin area. I was confused and couldn’t drop a word. He flashed his eyes and said to me: “Girl, I got something to show you.” I approached him, my face was just at the level of his groin. This was followed by a set of standard actions of a pervert. At the moment I’m even more freaked out and couldn’t even move. I mentally began to call for help mom. Then a sharp click, and I came to my senses and abruptly ran away,” – said the singer.

    #Янебоюсьсказать: горькие воспоминания женщин о насилии и осуждение в Сети

    Another victim of the aggression was the model Anna Kalashnikova. She did not imagine that this could happen in a relationship with a man who seemed like the perfect boyfriend, and romantic. The chosen one gave her expensive gifts, took me on dates.

    “A couple months later, he invited me to a romantic meeting in a country hotel. I arrived but in fact, as soon as I crossed the threshold of the room, he slammed the door and began to dismiss his hands, to covet. Threatened that if I don’t want him, he’ll throw me out the window, then began to beat so that I flew several meters after impact. Awfully painful to remember. I was saved by the fact that he went out to talk on the phone for half a minute – during this time I managed to call friends and call for help,” recalls Anna.

    #Янебоюсьсказать: горькие воспоминания женщин о насилии и осуждение в Сети

    The reaction of other users

    Spooky stories under the hashtag #aboussafy,caused a wide resonance in the social networks. Some Internet users sympathized with the women trapped in situations in which people have been abused by men. They noted that this promotion can help to attract the attention of legislative bodies is a problem in Russia

    “All the stories that girls tell under that hashtag, too terrible to pass up and I can’t even imagine what it cost them to find the words or type the first line”, – is written by those who have studied the posts of hundreds of girls who openly confessed to the violence.

    However, explicit monologues about rape caused the opposite reaction. People, on the contrary, believed that the heroines of these stories shouldn’t talk openly about it, as it will negatively affect their reputation in society.

    “Scared and ashamed of what is happening around us, for the reaction of many men, because it is impossible to protect against this our close,” describing emotions after reading a certain user.

    For the most part, men refused to acknowledge the seriousness of the flash mob, and some users were left under the hashtag entries, which joked about the topic. For many males, the woman herself provokes this behavior, appearing drunk or late at night in the wrong places.

    “I’m not afraid to say that scoundrels and perverts a lot, unfortunately. But normal, decent, dignified, loving and women respecting men – much more, in my opinion. And it’s a joy,” said another representative of the stronger sex.

    According to mediaelements Varvara Chumakova, such action can help to change something for the better.

    “Television and mainstream cinema could not pull out the pain survivors of sexual violence, they show the pain of the masses, but not of individuals – individuals they turn into cliché or exoticism. And now it is social media that allow the particular person to talk about your personal experience, while do it not individually, but by joining their private voices in flow, be able to do this is to blur the boundary between the private world experiences of violence and public peace silence the pain. So the experience of survivors of violence becomes part of the public space, which in turn constructs another public discourse,” she wrote on the page on the social network.

    The statistics do not fully reflect what’s really going on. After all, not every girl is ready to confess that he had been the victim of aggression and beatings. According to the National independent Commission for the rights of women, every year 30 to 50 thousand women were subjected to sexual abuse.

    Based on the materials Life.ru and records of users of social networks.