In the twenty-first century people have become too busy. That is why many of them prefer online Dating services. Psychologist Yaroslav Samoilov tells what it can mean.
In the era of iPhones and social networks every second, at least once I registered on the Dating sites. The most popular source at the moment is Tinder, an app easy and intuitive to use. To talk to the person only in case of mutual sympathy, that is, after you have formed with him “the couple”. How to meet, what to pay attention not to stumble on Alphonse or pervert, says psychologist Yaroslav Samoilov.
Than it is better not to talk?
“On Dating sites men have the worthy, — said Yaroslav. — Good photo and the correct form will help to find such a person. But most importantly, that will help to build a happy relationship — understanding the psychology of relationships — then the woman simply has no chance to be alone. However, everything in order.
What pictures to upload?
When you register on Tinder you offer to post some pictures and write a few words about yourself. Of course, you first working visual effect. Let’s see, what should be pictures. You need to ask yourself the question: “what do I want after viewing pictures of the man understand about me?” If a woman shows her figure and sexiness, she should understand that so attracts men in the first place, on the body and on sex. Is it possible in this case to find a partner for relationships? Unlikely. But fans will be a lot.
It all depends on the goal: you want a lover is one thing, relationship is another friend — the third. Most girls are dreaming still about love. I think then the photos should broadcast a positive softness, beauty. Preferably good quality. No need to upload images in the glasses in half-face. Another bad option – the mountains, the sea, and you away, as a person-a grain of sand. Moreover, there should be pictures with friends: why? And do not go overboard with photoshop, the best.
Enough to start 3-4 photos where it is clear who you are. There where you can see the beauty, softness. No need to show the figure all right, but it should be clear what it is. Because I, as a man, it is important to understand the image — a slender, overweight, what are you? Photo standing, sitting, in a dress… it is not necessary to be in a bathing suit. You should not publish footage with the face of a German officer or too pretentious. It will only push away a potential partner.
What to write about myself?
The better and clearer will provide about yourself, the more you will attract men that fit the bill. If you write “I’m awesome” or anything, then you will write who came. If you have time, okay
But for me, the description is used as a kind of summary: “I’m a girl so-and-so addicted-so, for me it is important, for example, self-development, play sports, lead a healthy lifestyle, I am attracted to men here are open to meeting with a certain man,who has a goal in life that evolves, not eating meat etc.
Then the man who reads this, understand it suits you or not. Accordingly, will write more suitable candidates. Shouldn’t be hard: “don’t email me such and such…”. It is not necessary to show all claims for wrongs to men. Should be soft openness where you share what you are addicted to, to aspire to and what kind of person you see around. You can write “If you are only interested in sex don’t waste time. I understand you like men, but I’d rather not write it.” Gently ask them not to wasting your and their time.
The universe will help you to choose the right man. But it is clear that if you write: “I need a billionaire, a blond, six-foot eight cubes”, then in your queries you will write less than men.
What to pay attention?
Not all men fill out the questionnaire, so it is best in correspondence to figure out what he is passionate about what women are attracted to, what his purpose in life. If the answer seems close, with the Challenger you can talk on the phone and go to the next steps.
The questionnaire difficult to identify the man. Only if you have photo don’t like it, confuses or alienates, then such talk is not necessary.
If a guy with a naked torso — it’s not quite an adult, an adequate option. Although there are exceptions, but rather they only confirm the rule.
What job seekers should avoid?
Those who endlessly rewrites, write — morning, afternoon and evening. Those who do not show pictures, offend, offer just the sex, disrespectful or distance. In my understanding it is better to focus not on who to fear and what kind of man you need.
How to start a conversation?
Here you formed a pair. What to do? Just write: “hi, I liked you as a man, I will glad to communicate”. All. Nothing else.
The purpose of a Dating site — not endless communication. If people are interested in each other — you need to go to the next step. But if a man is marking time — or the woman prevents him (afraid, doesn’t trust or something else), or the frivolous man or married. Therefore it is better to go to chat in WhatsApp, then meeting for half an hour or an hour. For example, in the center or let it pulls you in a convenient place for coffee. Better not to delay online communication. The purpose of such sites, live meeting, and not the creation of online relationships.
How to understand that man is not “married guy” and not a gigolo?
Normal Challenger asks WhatsApp, and crazy overwritten. Adequate man is busy he has no time for days and months to correspond on the Dating sites.
If a person appears and then disappears for a long time, most likely he’s married. Although it is when he is busy, successful, but it is much less common. If not sure, ask the links to the social network. Now many people have Instagram, this is also an option.
As for Gigolos, they can be identified by asking a few leading questions. For example: “What are you passionate about in life, have goals, what women like?” If he says, “I’m attracted to strong, independent women”, it seems to be a poor man. If he answers: “I like girls passionate, fragile” are strong contenders. If he says: “I’m not passionate about home-work” — means the person nucleostemin. But if it starts to whine and complain, so better not mess with.
Based on the place where he was invited, determine the man is impossible. He, too, might doubt and think, “I’ll see you First, drink coffee…” it Depends what impression you made on the website. That is why it is important to pay attention to the pictures and profile.
So men are also afraid. And what, in principle, the difference, where to drink coffee? So the place — not an indicator. Usually Gigolos, these actors can overshadow the consciousness of the woman, inviting her to a nice place. The good of it?
Than it is better not to talk?
It is not individual words, but the whole approach: to complain, to whine, to blame the state, talking about politics, hard life, how bad is it, to insult and criticize other men. It is impossible to do!
How to treat foreigners?
If you like citizens of other countries, then why not? Another question, if you’re not ready for like Dating, then just write the phrase in English: “Foreign men, please, don’t write me”.
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