How to grow your son a real man: a psychologist’s advice for single mothers


Как вырастить из сына настоящего мужчину: советы психолога для матерей-одиночек Natalia Tolstaya believes that, with reasonable effort, you can raise a decent man and defender. According to the specialist, the child should be forced to work and help my mother from an early age.
Как вырастить из сына настоящего мужчину: советы психолога для матерей-одиночек

Stay mother

The woman, alone raising a son, it is very important not to try to replace his father. Not to become a man in a skirt, not to give commands, not to stop a galloping horse. Mother is a kind, understanding, wise. Don’t grab the strap, just not for your opinion, don’t yell at my son. Better since childhood instill that you are a woman, and therefore a weak creature in need of his help. Even if the boy is only three, that is no reason not to help you carry home from the store with food packages. And nothing in his baggage just two apples, let them understand – it helps mom, it can’t handle.

Don’t let a child of familiarity

I’m amazed by mothers who do not see anything bad in that five-year-old boy continues to sleep with them in bed. Or ask the child to fasten them to the bra, go in front of him in a short robe, peeks out of underwear. There are those who drives his son with him almost to military recruitment in the women’s bath. He might not be against, but idea of what his mother will have him after that?

Как вырастить из сына настоящего мужчину: советы психолога для матерей-одиночек

Create the right image of the father

Even if the dad your son is unworthy of man, the child need never know. Better join the ranks of mothers telling children about the founding fathers of the astronauts, but in a more modernized version. There is nothing bad that the child thought his father was killed in war, drowned in a submarine, in General, died a heroic death. Even if in fact he was a drunkard… And, basically, don’t say it about men bad. Do not forget that the son is also the representative of the stronger sex.

Learn men’s skills

The boy must not see you nailed to the wall nail or change the wheel of the car, even if you brilliantly know how to do it. Ask some of male friends to teach the heir to this or not stingy – specialist of kind of service “husband for an hour”, even if the child is delayed: men’s business deals with a man, not a mother!

Not crevices on the son

A woman is arranged so that a few days in the month she needed someone to break your bad mood. In full families under fire first gets a husband, and incomplete – baby. Mother besides vents on it in anger for the simple personal life, manipulating him, provoking a scandal, just bite the brain, even if he is only five… a Child forced to endure such to grow clogged, not able to take independent decisions.

Watch his speech

“If not for you, I’d be happy,” “I gave you my youth!” – single mothers often abandon the sons of this phrase. Those this is formed from the complex of guilt: the mother is worth more, and it’s my fault that she is content with the modest life. This translates into a chronic lack of confidence, unwillingness to have own family, lack of career success. Also adversely affect the baby gossip – get rid of typically female habits to consider anyone else under the son. This leads to psychometrize – deprivation of the boy’s masculine traits. Not vystrelivaet him: “what did your friend nick after lunch with us?” Otherwise, then he’s going to wonder what it says about the neighbor aunt Zina. Not a man, you will agree. And last – not Lisp with his son, if he has more than three.

Give an heir to the sport

No child should be deprived of male influence. Let a mentor to a boy will be the coach. The main thing – to find a sport that would be like your son. And it should not be chess, but, for example, football, basketball, Boxing, athletics, swimming, where you can learn endurance and the will to win – that is the qualities required of a man.

Be on the same wavelength

To build with the sons of a trusting relationship, single mothers need to understand that they are interested in: car brands, “Game of thrones”, the spinners and much more. Yes, it hurts after work to come home and memorize than the Mercedes-Benz C-class differs from the Mercedes-Benz E-class,but if you will not find this force, do not expect that the child will have the desire to open up to you to ask for your advice.

Stop whining

If the boy often complains and always dissatisfied with everything, he is half girl. So tell me son, let him know what awaits him. And don’t encourage the snot. Broken knee? Anointed zelenkoj and sent out. No lamentations, no tears.

Encourage friendships with boys

Let the child be more like him. And best of all, if they love to crowd together in your house and even stay the night in his room, which, incidentally, may not always be in order. It you also need to take. And in any case not offer him “to get out of 100 roubles” to pay child help mom otherwise then he is free for you finger about a finger does not hit.