Favorite person is gone and you don’t know how to cope with the pain? Psychologist Natalia Tolstaya was a number of rules you need to remember to keep a positive attitude and belief in himself even after a very difficult breakup.
The woman should learn that if a man says that you should break up, his decision final. This ladies are inclined to speculate the feelings, to leave playing to the audience, and males are wired differently. if he decided to end the relationship, it does not convince. To fall at his feet, trying to persuade to stay, and shout that he’s an asshole, forbidden.
Man you need to let go with dignity. Silently closing the door, drink three glasses of water and go to the toilet – I feel better. After you wash your hair, bryzgina favorite spirits and drink mint tea is a kind of bodily therapy. If the apartment was left of his belongings, pack them in a box and put under the bed to remind about the breakup.
GIVE VENT TO EMOTIONS
Emotional pain from love showdown is the same as the physical. No matter how strong a woman may be, if he liked, to break up will be hard. I know of cases when girls even fainted at the announcement of a man about the breakup. The main thing – not to withdraw into themselves. Call a friend, let him come with a bottle of wine and listen to what Bob/Pete/Sasha bastard. It is important not to be silent!
Vygovarival – family, priest, therapist, and even colleagues, if you have enough trust. Moderation and not to use people as a drainage ditch: a day to discuss your ex is no obligation.
NOT SIT AT HOME
The first two or three days need to be one. Walk with a friend or alone, whatever. Go to the Mall, buy yourself a new skirt. Walk in the Park or go to a movie, not a maudlin melodrama. And don’t just sit there, force yourself to work in this salvation. Yes, seriously preoccupied only with their own grief, but you have to make an effort and work hard, otherwise it will fall apart. Take your brain and send pain on creation-perhaps you have long wanted to execute any documents or passport?
GIVE UP MEAT AND ALCOHOL
In the first days after a break up strong drinks recommended – help go to a parallel reality. But a week later from them should be abandoned, as well as from meat: protein and alcohol the food aggression. Better to help the body to relive stress, eating light foods: fruits, vegetables, milk, low-fat cottage cheese, soups, and porridge.
DON’T ABUSE THE PILLS
In a gap period to get hooked on sleeping pills and sedatives. Yes, perhaps the first, most horrible, night after a breakup is to take a pill that will help you sleep, but no more. I suggest to escape natural remedies – warm milk with honey or, in extreme cases, a few drops of Valerian added to a glass of water.
LOOK IN THE PARTING OF THE PROS
One of the mistakes that those who are left, they become fixated on the good, forgetting a loved one caused resentment. This is wrong. Ask a friend – let me remind you how you cried when he forgot your anniversary and called you fat. This out the hard way, but it will help to understand that you broke up, there are pluses.
DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR EX
If, leaving, beloved man left you the car and the apartment, of course, after a breakup you have no reason to refuse his request to remain friends. But if he dumped you like a pig, do not buy his benevolence and text messages “how are you? Deal?” the next day after a breakup. Rather, he probes the soil to see if you will come to you to eat an English muffin the old memory, and along with sex. Do you need it? You respect yourself…
LET ME TAKE CARE OF
To take revenge on the former, rushing into the arms of random knights and taking the promiscuous, I do not advise – too many cases of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies I have seen with my clients in similar situations. But to allow to feel needed, on the contrary, you should. Name date – go, even if you don’t want. The attention of the stronger sex will help to distract and raise self-esteem.
If to speak about relations which have not led to marriage and children, the average woman suffering after their breakup a month and a half. If more, it’s time for her to see a therapist or clinic of neurosis. In the case where a couple had become a family and give birth to a child, of course, this period increases to an average of one third of the period of duration of the relationship. In other words, if a woman was with a man for five years, finally get rid of thoughts about it, she will be able only after 20 months.