The specialist told readers “StarHit” how to solve family problems. Mikhail Labkovsky unique insight into the relationships between men and women. The psychologist explained in detail what to do if life with your loved one for some reason turned into torture.
HUSBAND LOST INTEREST IN SEX
Solution: One of the reasons why a spouse you no longer want – your relationship has outlived its usefulness. In a perfect world, people grow in marriage. The main sign of this – the husband and wife are interested in each other, they have to talk about what to do together. They travel, go to movies and visit exhibitions. Due to the continuous emotional contact they have mutual sexual attraction. But in real life is more complicated. Someone is getting married for the wrong reasons, some in a hurry to go to the registry office, because “all friends are already married, and I’m not”, there are those who are afraid that they won’t offer… however, many enter into family life, already having sexual problems, and naively believing that the stamp in the passport will solve them. But it does not solve…
In this case, you need to be the husband to the sexologist. Doesn’t want to? In a few weeks will offer more. Again refuses? Then look for another husband. But otherwise, if he’s not willing to delve into common problems of the family, after the extinction of sexual interest in you in time for them to apply. Oh, he does not consider it a problem? Then I have bad news for you – psychologically you are not together, your marriage is unlikely to help.
MY HUSBAND IS CONSTANTLY SITTING AT THE COMPUTER
Solution: If before the wedding lover had a passion for the computer, his obsession with them in marriage indicates a lack of communication in the family. In other words – your husband is not satisfied with his life, and through the glands he’s trying to make it to the full. Normal people don’t sit at the computer, not watching soap operas, and even, oddly enough, do not read. They live. Of course, if a man all his spare time “chopped” into the computer, the woman is furious, because he does not participate in the life of their family and generally forget about sex.
Jump around him in a dressing gown with invitingly wagging his hips in such cases does not help. Pair you need to go to a psychologist – only a doctor can help to solve their problems, the consequence of which was the passion of her husband to the computer. But first, take a look, is not sitting if a spouse on a Dating site. Then the doctor will not help.
Husband pays too much attention to the child from the first marriage
Solution: how many is Too many? If more than your common child – Yes, it is wrong. But in most cases, women are dissatisfied with the fact that their husband spends a Saturday or Sunday with the offspring from his ex-wife. Such I want to ask: “And sooner than you thought?” About how much time the husband would pay the child not from you and, more importantly, how much money he will give for its maintenance, it is necessary to negotiate before the wedding. Agree? So, now silent. And if you are not able to accept the situation, change your husband – there’s no other way.
Husband is terrible at home
Decision: that her lover blowing his nose in the curtain, the woman probably knew even before marriage. So, it is acceptable. If after she became a wife, his habits constantly irritate her, to put up with this is not necessary, it is better to divorce. Another option is usually on the window hanging two curtains, you can blow your nose in the second. The main thing – do not yell at your spouse. Many ladies include mother and begin to educate men. But it should be understood that the person trying to change, sees it as a bad attitude, because it does not want to accept it for what it is. This inevitably leads to scandal. Therefore, before marriage decide whether you are satisfied with the chosen one with the manners of pigs or not.
HUSBAND DOES NOT PARTICIPATE IN A CHILD’S LIFE
Decision: Russia is a special country. We have assumed that the husband earned and the wife stayed home with the children. To help with the baby males do not even want to spare time – say, I have a day off, leave me alone. And to blame only women. They beat their Breasts: “I’m all by myself! I’m a mother!” and then they complain. Even the late Dr. Spock wrote that unlike women, men children has a social character: the more time they spend with Chad, the more in love with him.
Hence the advice – coming out of the hospital, just give the child to dad, while they themselves go to the hairdresser. When the baby cries in the night, tell your husband: “Honey, I’m so tired, calm him down, please.” You will see that after this man from a child the ears will not drag.
Husband arranges jealousy
Solution: There are men who are wife in cafe with girlfriends are not allowed, and suddenly she will change him? This suggests that the male low self esteem. When he was small he was compared to other children – and, alas, not in his favor. Then there is the injury, and talk it does not cure, it is necessary to go to the doctor. If he refuses to see a specialist, drop it. At this point I said: “But the rest of it suits me!” Explain: how people think flawed mentality. When they were young, they did not like just like that, not at all, and this resulted in a handicap. These people before you go to the registry office, take a sheet, divide it in half, left side write the pros of the second half, on the right – cons. And on the basis of the predominance of the pros decide to start a family or not. The normal person accepts himself and loved one without any “but”.
Not that I advise anyone to divorce, just think that people should be together only when completely satisfied with each other. And this person must learn to love ourselves with unconditional love – without conditions.
Fear to grow old and cease to be interesting husband
Solution: A girl at 19 consider yourself a decrepit aunts, and 40 ready to go in the coffin. Are you afraid that the spouse will run away to that young and prettier. Other advice but to take themselves there. Tell yourself, say, what has grown, and grown, nothing to be nervous about? Husband seeing wife jerks about age also begin to consider her a woman. Remember: people perceive you the way you feel. If you have crooked legs, but you about it do not bother, the surrounding will not notice.
Same with age – love yourself for who you are. How? Do not hesitate age, don’t hide it, and better not to think on the subject. And remember, my husband loves the one that keeps him on his toes, and not the one that runs after him like a dog and endlessly asks: “do You love me?”
Mother-in-law ruins your life
Solution: If husband’s mother is displeased with you, do not try to please her. Many women on an unconscious level I try to bend under mother-in-law, fearing that it will cause the collapse of her marriage. This behavior entails an even greater persecution from relatives: triggers “you are a victim, she’s a hunter.” Act as you want, and believe me, you will love it. Mother-in-law should understand that you are an adult, the wife of her son and trying to respect myself. It is, of course, will be angry, that you have something to say and not doing what she wants. But at the same time, it will be forced to admit that you should be.
Of course, mom of the husband should not interfere, but if she’s displeased with you, specifically explain to her that you don’t like how she talks to you. Say, say, woman, if you don’t like how I cook or clean my husband’s shoes, meet with my son without me in the apartment I such attitude will not be tolerated. You will, I hope, healthy people and live separately from her mother in law?