“We were doing so well, and now…” – surely you’ve heard this phrase from friends, friends, and maybe, and say themselves. Human relationships – the substance is very fragile. As is known, from love to hate one step. But psychologists have invented a way to revive the old feelings.

It would seem that yesterday you could not look at each other, caught every word and desire, and today sit like strangers. If it was a fling, then, strictly speaking, God is with him. Shook, forgotten, and rushed to find a new love. But if you’ve been together five years and you have two children and property? There is much to think about. To quit is unlikely to be easy. The easiest way, of course, to bite the bullet and endure, to see the world through miserable eyes explain their inaction hopeless sigh: “we’re family…” But it might be worth the effort to try to fix the status quo?

Psychologists have long divided us into different groups of characters, temperaments and types. And now the growing popularity of the theory that mankind, after Babel, speak different languages of love. That is, if husband and wife do not speak the love language of each other, their marriage is doomed. Frustrating that this language diversity is found not at once. People under the influence of endorphins of love from time to time thinks their partner is perfect. And enlightenment can only come through a few years of living together. Here begins the misunderstanding and, as a consequence, the problems.

The classification of the languages of love first introduced the world to the American psychologist Gary Chapman. According to his research love can speak five languages: “Good words”, “Time”, “Gifts”, “Help” and “Touch”. And a man who knows only one language of love, will never understand yelling about his feelings if he expresses them differently. Your partner believes a true manifestation of love that took part in the home and each season changes the tires on your car. And this “Help” is waiting for you. And when you do not gets very upset.

You, in turn, think that all of the above could do themselves, if only he took you by the hand and led, for example, in theater or just sat and talked about you, that you are pleased with or worried about, would give you “Time”, showed how you dear to him. But he doesn’t understand your dissatisfaction, after all, he does a lot for you”. In the end, the emptiness inside it occurs in both.

The native speaker “Kind words” require constant encouragement, encouragement, words of gratitude and affection. Someone who sees love in the “Gifts” waiting for partner material signs of attention – and not necessarily expensive. The person who loves, and so brings the gift of himself. Speaking the language of love can be quite a flower. Thought about it and cared, then love! Without “Touching” all of us present love quite difficult. Lovers always holding hands, friends hugging when they met, and when we want someone to comfort, stretch hand to touch, to stroke. But there are those who are particularly in need of affection. And they have nothing to what is already the tenth or thirtieth year of marriage. So, we announced the list. And above all, as recommended by psychologists, it is necessary to understand what language of love is inherent in you.

Love can speak five languages: “good words”, “time”, “gifts”, “help” and “touch”. Listen to yourself and to your partner

Think about what you are missing in the relationship. But if (and it happens often) you do not know what you want, try to go back, remember that you often offends. Thus, it is possible to assume that if people will do exactly the opposite, it will please you. “Time”, “Help”, “Touch”, “Good” or “Gifts”? Just be honest with yourself: envy friend whose husband gave her a fur coat, and you your no, nothing to do with love has not. Here too the claims of some other sort.

Then, armed with knowledge of what we need ourselves, we turn to the no less difficult task – to recognize the language of love partner. But if you hundred years as dissatisfied with each other, then this would be not so easy… Psychologists say: listen to the reproaches of those who are next. Don’t freeze them with the usual irritation, saying, “again…” and “the old song…”. The grumbling partner, you can hear what he lacks, what he personally wants.

You can try to talk directly. Only not to run into something like: “Again, it’s all about me, huh?!”, tell me in advance what is to blame here, but there is only the people who can return to their love life. If you want to, of course. Inform about what you need, ask what he wants. Just speak calmly, do not ask and do not reproach. Methodically, week after week show man his love, speaking his language. And being filled with it, he can not remain indifferent and will step up.