My funniest columns, which reminded readers

Мои смешные колонки, о которых напомнили читатели Doing the jubilee issue of “StarHit”, I thought, what was the most memorable of these 10 years? Interviews with the stars of the class “A” – say, Tatiana Doronina, or Inna Churikova, Valentin Gaft? Of course! Meeting colorful characters of show business? Probably, but the kaleidoscope of their faces and deeds of the years is almost unchanged. Maybe famous politicians? If you do not have in mind the recent transfer of Ksenia Sobchak, the situation of show business here is a little different.
Мои смешные колонки, о которых напомнили читатели

But when readers remind me of funny stories from some of my paradowski speaker, I understand humor is needed by all and always. Ten years ago, the news that Miss Russia Victoria Lopyreva gave prosperity progress a lock of his hair, which with the help of nanotechnology has been turned into a diamond, shook Andrew Orlushu. By that time, on account of the poet was already a controversial essay about inflatable Ksenia Sobchak, but for our magazine Andrew wrote almost a Patriotic anthem without a single swearword.

About the new national treasure

Мои смешные колонки, о которых напомнили читатели

Blondes also have friends:
It is not oil, not dandies.
Here not reveal his secrets to me,
Their friends simple diamonds.
Brilliant blonde as sweet as brother,
Do not be seduced by popoyu elastic,
And while the other five carat
Will not sleep with my best friend.

After all the man is – he’s a known creep.
Time! And he’s already with another woman in bed.
Leave a few carats,
He, poorer in reality?
However, today we are not about that.
I’ll tell you a secret private:
You can, not communicating with a man
To make his life mnogokratnoe.
Let the man burst from the longing.
He doesn’t need us anymore, poor.
Diamonds have become close to us
Through the mysteries of nanotechnology.
It did not to me in my dream,
It’s not fancy Orlova,
The secret yesterday opened my
Miss Russia Vika Lopyreva.


Hair taken from the head,
We cut deftly,
After this beauty, alas,
I have to put it in the microwave.
There is already academic talent
Need. And secret things,
To get the diamond
More than glass from Serduchka.
We do not need more oil and gas!
We will soon live like the picture!
There is a wealth of new we –
You long-haired blonde.
Will put the elderly and children
Better than actors in Hollywood.
And painted nails
Learn to do emeralds.
And then… what can I say…
The money is there – give yourself, live it!
Each of you in Russia again
Nice feat lopyrevoy the Wiki.

Albeit just one carat
Melted strands of lopyrevoy,
I have seen him. You know, brother,
Stone – clear, yellow and healthy.

Monastery greetings

Мои смешные колонки, о которых напомнили читатели

On the day of the Dormition of the Mother of God at the invitation of the chief Greek of Russia, Deputy Ivan Savvidi, I, along with pilgrims arrived in the Turkish town of Trabzon to visit Orthodox Holy sites – the monastery of Panagia Sumela. Yielding to the entreaties, immediately on arrival I had to register with each of the 2000 people in our pilgrimage group. The descendants of Orthodox Christians from Australia, America, Austria, Germany, Greece and of course Russia lined up in a long queue, and the flash of their cameras non-stop coverage of the airport an hour and a half. Despite the loss of time and the fact that the customs of Russian priests somehow forced to remove vestments, climbing a mountain, where the Shrine, we still have started.

Six hours later, admiring the wonderful view of the monastery founded by the monks Barnabas and Sophronios in the fourth century of our era, I saw wading through the crowd a man. Catching my glance, he loudly asked: “MAKS Galkin here?” I shook his head slowly. “Tell him I said hi” – here he slightly hesitated: “And the woman say it too!”

Cuticle Sobchak left unattended

Мои смешные колонки, о которых напомнили читатели

While I varied the governors of the Murmansk and Moscow regions, and the leaders BELAVIA has estimated losses from the reduction of flights to Russia, there was really a significant event. Ksenia Sobchak left pedicure manicurist Julia. Let some evil tongues gossip that blame unbridled temperament and a rich vocabulary of Susie. I know it is different, because to destroy the tandem Xenia, Yulia couldn’t even the fact that sometimes violated the recommendations of the “king of bare feet” by the French artist bastien Gonzalez and not used in the processing of foot star client talc. Divorced girls differences of a different order. They don’t see eye to eye on political. After learning that she had voted in March not for Putin, Julia has collected his bag and left the apartment presenter. If you consider that a fanatical supporter of Vladimir was accepted to other well-known home, to imagine what happened there, I do not even dare.

ON THE SANDS OF MAURITIUS

Мои смешные колонки, о которых напомнили читатели

It has become a tradition that for may all leave for somewhere: on boarded up from the winter cottage, on skewers… The luckiest going, of course, relax on the warm sea. Tycoon (his name due to fear of being drowned in the Moscow river will not name) is always celebrated may day at home. But mom tried to send to hell. This time on the seven-colored dunes of the island of Mauritius. On the second day, a loving son demanded from the assistants of the photos, like where his mother is resting. Happy mom’s face floating in a huge pool, Executive room, he liked it. Mark her fabulously expensive bikini too. But the color of pool water!.. This moment brought the oligarchs into a rage.

Sleepy in the morning due to the marathon, all-night rumbles mother started to find out the cause of the noise. “I think this night would not have closed eyes, even sleeping for 20 hours a day Australian sloths sigh, her assistant. Because from evening till sunrise on your private beach downloaded 60 thousand tons of white sand brought by tankers from Madagascar. We err, and suddenly the local colorful Sands that come to admire the tourists from all over the world, will seem to your son is clumsy”.

100 GRAMS FOR VICTORY

Мои смешные колонки, о которых напомнили читатели

The scandal with members of our youth team who won US the world championship on hockey and not allowed in the plane allegedly due to drunk appearance, I, like all fans, first, of course, upset. And then I thought: “Drink for victory 100 grams is Holy, and defenders of the hard sport mode here needs to shut up.” Colleagues, sports journalists agreed with me and told the story about the Soviet hockey player, three times world champion and twice Olympic games Evgeny Zimin.

It is said that once in the semi-finals of the world championship Evgeny was drinkin half a bottle of vodka, then went out on the ice, masterfully scored two goals and drove up to the coach to give him a break, saying that riding today something especially hard. And only on the bench teammates in amazement noticed that Zimin mixed up left and right skates.

WHERE TO PEE POOR YORICK?

Has become commonplace to talk of the hell make cars with flashing lights travel other Russian motorists. But it turns out that the powers that be create chaos not only for us, but also in the West. However, foreign citizens do not just fire officials, pining in traffic or talking to friends, both in the centre of Moscow has come at a pedestrian crossing in clubs construction dust and among the working excavators. The Europeans pour out his wrath on any level and sure to appeal to the media.

Recently, columnist, the Financial Times published a stunning story from the life of his four-legged pet – Yorkshire Terrier, also called Yorkie and joriki. The fact that the reporter’s apartment is situated opposite Hyde Park, a favorite meeting place not only of ordinary Londoners, but also to the various delegations. But once in the Park, the lake and the gallery “serpentine”, began to establish temporary pavilions designed by the best architects of the world, has been plaguing not.

Recently, the unique creations of architects – this time the pavilion was created by the African, Diebedo Francis Coeur – went to watch Prince Charles. The entrances to the Park quickly blocked, and tenants, including the home of a journalist from Financial, over – bored to open the Windows and leave the apartment for 4 hours!

Reading a story about the suffering experienced in this little Yorick, who used to relieve themselves only under the rose Bush near the pavilion, crying the whole England.